The beef starts here...

Letter from the boss came this morning...

'Boys,

I Just got a tip-off from a buddy who used to be on the force and still has some connections that there's a piano-based rock band out there called School of Athens. They list some of their influences as Ben Folds and Arcade Fire. I got a hunch it's time to start a-beefin'... and that's where you come in.

To start a beef you need to act like you're really angry about something otherwise people have an annoying habit of 'rising above' things, claiming they're 'the bigger man'. We gotta circumvent that kinda crap by hitting 'em hard - haircuts, religions, birthmarks - everything is on limits. If you ever wanna get to the topper-most of the popper-most you're gonna need to piggyback on these schmucks damn near all the way, especially with the songs you keep writing.
Beware though, They are utterly rhizomatic, they have no family, no friends, no tax records, there are no old pictures of them: it's as if one day they just wandered out of the desert into the local under-18s disco and started giving your little sister a load of bullshit about how they're in a real cool band. All my old buddy could glean from his sources was...

'...Following the lead of wunderkind drummer Mike Rush (who backed up the Temptations on national TV when he was just seventeen years old) the band uses complex orchestrations and syncopated rhythms to offset the stunning vocals and impassioned playing of McKees Rocks native, Drew Fogle, on the keyboard.'

We need your help to find the perfect insult to really get this beef cooking AND get you guys the highly lucrative Temptations gig. If you got any ideas get back to me, and fast - unless you like these pussies stealing the basic gist of your name that is.

Yours, PARAGON MANAGEMENT'